Donald Trump Jr.!
On this week’s episode of the podcast “UnPresidented,” Trump, a psychologist who has written a highly critical book about former President Donald Trump, referred to her cousin Donald Trump Jr. as “weak” and “the dumbest” in her family.
“Donnie is a deeply unintelligent person. I’ve been asked this, who’s the dumbest, and it’s him,” said Mary Trump.
“He has no core. He has no ideology,” Trump added, before saying her cousin has the ability to “outsmart everyone, he will outsmart everyone, he will shoot as many innocent animals as possible.” to get everything that passes for affection in my family.”
Of course, as a layperson with no connection to the Trump family—aside from the Svengali-esque hold they have on my vomit reflex—I have to say I agree. I don’t know if he ever mistook Ajax for cocaine, but that guy is not alone.
Of course he wrote two collections of words ‘books’, but any dumbass can do that. If I were writing for Junior’s audience, I could fart in Google Translate for like 10 minutes and be done with that. And if it turns out I’m not that ambitious, I can just hire a ghost whistler, and then just sit back and watch the royalty come in.
According to his cousin, sitting back has always been Junior’s life plan, even though his sister is his father’s favorite son.
“He wasn’t going to hit on his own. He wasn’t going to do anything but suck up and follow the line, and the problem is – one of the problems is – and who knows how this happens – but about the same problem that happened to him happened to my dad my grandfather didn’t like my dad for whatever reason and saw something in his sibling donald and the only thing that’s weird is that donald did the same thing but with ivanka. ‘
In honor of his “Stupidest Trump” award from Cousin Mary, let’s review some of Junior’s greatest hits, shall we?
There was a time when he compared Syrian refugees to Skittles. That was a classic. And remember when he urged his followers – twice – to vote for a Republican governor candidate the day after the election?
And then there are the tweets where his stupidity folded like a fluffy omelette into his terribleness.
And the time he chided a fellow tweeter’s bad grammar with an ungrammatical tweet of his own:
And, of course, there was the infamous Trump Tower meeting, which Don Jr. helped set up to obtain information from foreign agents about his father’s political opponent. In this case, Junior’s wickedness was a double-edged sword. He was stupid enough to eagerly ask for dirt on Hillary Clinton, but apparently too stupid to realize he was breaking the law.
This is far from a comprehensive list, trust me. Feel free to add your favorite Junior moments in the comments.
Mary Trump is proof that genetics doesn’t necessarily determine our fate. A brain teaser is needed to help someone on the kind of path Don Jr. happily continues. That or a Tony Montana-worthy berm of premium coke.
Or, you know, maybe both.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and early author Stephen King shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump troll books. Get them all, including the final, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Bee this link. Or, if you’d rather take a test drive, you can: download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.