But I’m not here to argue the 2016 election again. I’ve tried to keep those awful memories at bay with the judicious distribution of legal Oregon products and the strategic deployment of a series of increasingly septic roofing nails into my now beleaguered Betty Crocker occipital lobe meatloaf. It worked well, in case you’re wondering.
And yet I’m occasionally reminded that we (and by “we” I mean a bunch of other bastards) chose this man – a man whose pettiness is clearly boundless.
The final proof? Trump is apparently trying to end the political career of a southern governor who isn’t even responsible for what he blames her for. And what he blames her for is so picayune and foolish, I’m ashamed to inhabit the same multiverse as this bastard.
According to a Nov. 20 Wall Street Journal story, Trump is considering backing Lynda Blanchard, the former ambassador to Slovenia, in a primary challenge against current GOP Alabama Governor Kay Ivey because… well, I’ll let the log fragment speaks for itself.
Here is the WSJ excerpt from the tweet above:
Mr. Trump personally blamed Ms. Ivey for a decision by the state commission to block the former president from holding a rally in July at the USS Alabama Battleship Memorial Park, which includes a World War II warship and other historic aircraft.
A spokeswoman for Ms. Ivey had said the governor had no role in that decision.
The Wall Street Journal story is behind a paywall, and since I’d rather work as a glory hole attendant in a first-century leper colony than give Rupert Murdoch more money, let me Business Insider pick up the thread:
[T]The event was scrapped after local officials feared the meeting would be too political in nature as it would be held at the USS Alabama Battleship Memorial Park.
“After the request was made, there was contact with the Republican Party… and then it became clear that it would be a partisan political event, rather than just a patriotic event planned for that evening,” wrote Bill Tunnell, the chairman of the park committee, in a letter explain the decision at that time.
Trump eventually held a meeting in Cullman, Ala., in August, but he is reportedly still angry with Ivey over the USS Alabama Battleship Commission decision.
The other angle here is that Trump is in favor of fiery bastard Mo Brooks for the U.S. Senate seat to be vacated by Republican Senator Richard Shelby in 2023, and Blanchard wants to run too. So this move appears to pave the way for two more responsible, pro-Trump corns at the levers of government. That’s really the last thing we need right now.
Will Republicans find their backbone in time to prevent the GOP from turning into a murderous goat-sacrificing cult? Or is it already too late?
Stay tuned. If you have the guts for it.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and early author Stephen King shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump troll books. Get them all, including the final, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Bee this link. Or, if you’d rather take a test drive, you can: download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.