BRENDAN SMIALOWSKIGetty Images
Hi, quick question: what’s happening here?
CNN’s Senior Diplomatic Correspondent Michelle Kosinki tweeted out a photo of today’s meal served aboard Air Force One and I have some concerns. The photo includes a salad topped with what looks like a pepper cut to look like a Jack-o-Lantern and filled with… maybe butternut squash? And a goat cheese spread? Looks mighty tasty, to be honest, though I do feel like encountering the majority of raw orange pepper on a salad plate feels like a daunting epicurean experience. But I’ll allow it.
I have major concerns, however, about what is going on in the top left corner of the photo:
My first thought, and I’m not ashamed to admit this, was “That’s an unseasoned chicken thigh.” Would it surprise me that that is what Trump would want? Not in the least. Did it still terrify me? In my bones.
Others in the ELLE.com Slack channel had other ideas:
- Monkey bread. This is a distinct possibility, although monkey bread and a Jack-o-Pepper in one meal? Someone in the Air Force One kitchen is flexing!
- Bread pudding. Also possible. But why no bowl? Pudding goes in a bowl. I’m upset!
- A cinnamon roll shellacked with icing. This feels violent. Not to sound like a Bossip headline, but where’s the swirl?
- Apple fritter. Sure! Why not! I know apple fritters are popular contemporary delights but every time I hear the words I imagine old-timey prospectors making them in a cast iron pan over a fire underneath the night school as coyotes howl in the distance. That’s just my truth, okay?
- Biscuits and gravy. Wow. This was a bold suggestion and I respect a big swing. I will be so mad if this is actually an attempt at biscuits and gravy, but also, well, this is the administration that celebrates with cold Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, so they’re not exactly the Pioneer Woman, is what I’m saying.
That said, we have to pay respect to the fine chefs aboard Air Force One who routinely put out gourmet meals for a president who has no palate. There’s no shade intended toward them. In his book, Thanks Obama, former White House speech writer David Litt rapturously recounts some of the delicious meals he had on-board. Last year, he told ELLE.com about his favorite AFO dining experience: “I have to mention this one time, during a POTUS trip in Kansas City, when they brought like 1500 pounds of barbecue from Oklahoma Joe’s on board. That’s one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Plus it means that I get to drop things like, ‘These are the best ribs I’ve ever eaten except for on Air Force One’ into conversation.”
Whatever was on the small plate today, congratulations to those who ate (and hopefully enjoyed) it for having a culinary-themed flex to drop into casual conversation from now on.